Eyes to See, Ears to Hear
Qualities of a Good Coach
The person who gets the most out of coaching uses the coach as "outside eyes and ears." Coaches hear and see things that even the best performers can't detect about their own performances. In endurance coaching, anyone can design hard workouts that exhaust you. In lawyer coaching, anyone can tell you what to do even if it is beyond your comfort zone. But a good coach will help you understand where you want to go, devise a plan that is within your ability and that will get you there, and then be your mentor and accountability partner to assure your success.
Your Coach is Your Ally
Just because coaching eyes and ears are available does not mean that we make best use of them. Some people are busy, fighting the alligators and snakes that plague them on a daily basis. While they need an ally, a coach, to help them set their priorities, they often are so deeply involved that they can't see the forest for the trees. Even when they talk with a coach, agree on their priorities and set dates for completion, their very next day seems to explode on them, causing them to revert to past behavior patterns. Such people can still eventually be helped by a coach.
The "Know It All" Individual Who Ignores the Coach
By contrast, the "know it all" individual misses the real benefit of coaching by being fixed on their own ideas and perceptions. They cannot connect with the coach as ally, deciding together what should be done next for career advancement, and then being accountable for the completion of the next step(s). Rather than follow this process, the "know it all" person typically walks away from the script they've participated in developing because they "know it all" and make snap decisions on their own, disregarding the coaching process that they enlisted in the first place.
Learn to Accept the Coach's Challenges
I am reminded of a personal experience when my wife wanted me to take up skiing, which I was reluctant to do. She even scheduled a ski school session for me over the Christmas holiday. Before then, however, I had the opportunity to take skiing lessons from a friend, thoroughly upsetting my wife. I ultimately realized why I had acted as I did: my friend asked me to learn to ski and offered to be my teacher, saying I could go into a school on the mountain later if I still wanted to. My wife told me to and said she would "put me in school," rejoining me later in the day; I resented the "order," being told what to do. In reality my wife was simply pushing me to achieve, as a coach would do, and the best approach - with wives and coaches - is to accept the challenge and strive to meet it. The truly successful person wants and needs a target, and a coach can provide eyes and ears that help you achieve it.
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