Now Don’t Get Defensive…

Published October 2, 2007

In a recent article, I read a new reason given for why lawyers hate marketing and can’t “sell.” Larry Richard, Ph.D., a psychologist, J.D., and consultant, suggests that it’s because lawyers have little or no “resiliency.” Dr. Richard reached his conclusion by giving the Caliper Profile, a widely used personality test, to a large cross-section of lawyers and comparing the results to those of the general population. He defines resiliency as “the ability to bounce back from criticism or rejection,” and says of lawyers:

In the hundreds of cases we’ve gathered, nearly all of the lawyers we’ve profiled (90% of them) score in the lower half of this trait [resiliency], with the average being 30%. The range is quite wide, with quite a number of lawyers scoring in the bottom tenth percentile. What does this tell us? Despite the outward confidence and even boldness that characterizes most lawyers, we may be a bit more sensitive under the surface. These lower scores may explain why so many partners’ meetings get sidetracked into defensive exchanges and why a simple request to turn in timesheets is often met with a defensive tirade.

As I write this, I am reminded of something that happened to me very recently. Someone criticized an action I took. My knee-jerk reaction was to be defensive, to justify, and to feel hurt because I felt the criticism was not justified and uttered merely to make the other person feel more powerful! That’s not the point. The point is that I fell right into the category that Larry Richard outlines … without realizing how close to his “line” I was/am.

Even successful sales people will frequently meet criticism and rejection, but their focus is consistently on achieving the next “yes” rather than dwelling on the last “no.” They view “no” merely as one more step on the journey to “yes.”

While lawyers may believe they are not marketing oriented or skilled, I believe everyone can market, and should market, more than they do. But, people have to stay within their “comfort zone” and do the things that come naturally, within their zone of comfort. Many times, in my coaching lawyers, the focus becomes learning what the comfort zone is for the attorney and demonstrating to the attorney that he or she can work within that zone of comfort—in other words, learn that “no” is just a word and not an assault on competence or personality. Once attorneys understand this and how to deal with it, they are off and running, contributing to the firm in ways they had not previously contemplated.

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Audience type: Administrators, Associates, Large Law Firms, Small Law Firms, Sole Practitioners